Tuesday, March 08 2011
Drawing Upon the “Headlines” in the Book of Mormon
By Colleen Harrison
In
emphasis is on opening up a clearer and clearer channel of “conscious
contact” with God. In scriptural language, what that means is that
these twelve steps (principles) can “cleanse the inner vessel” and
help a person become more and more “in tune with the
Writing in a personal journal as we study the scriptures is a
foundational principle in both the Church’s Guide to Addiction
Recovery and Healing and in its predecessor, He Did Deliver Me from
Bondage. My sharing with you this month is based on some of my own
reflections on how keeping a journal based on the precepts in Book of
Mormon verses has been an anchor to my life through some of the most
challenging thoughts and events I’ve ever faced.
Finding the “Headlines” for My Own Life in Its Pages
One day, many years ago, as I was reading the Book of Mormon, I came
to these words in Jacob 1:4:
And if there were preaching which was sacred, or revelation which was
great, or prophesying, that I should engraven the heads of them upon
these plates, and touch upon them as much as it were possible, for
Christ's sake, and for the sake of our people (emphasis added).
heart, I found myself willing to believe that God would hear and even
answer my prayers through the “words of Christ.” (
In other words, in the process of my recovery I was regaining a more
childlike innocence and trust of God. I was beginning to believe that
God was that good and that personally interested and available to me—so
much so that He really would give me answering thoughts, that He would
whisper wisdom and understanding into my mind. And so I determined
that I would ask Him, point blank, to reveal to me why the words, “the
heads of them” seemed so significant to me.
“Lord, what would Thou have me learn from these words?” Almost
instantly (and with a smile I could feel in my heart), I perceived the
Lord convey to my mind the words, “Think of what you are used to
calling ‘headlines,’ Colleen. That is what Nephi told Jacob to
engrave upon the plates–the ‘heads,’ or in other words, the briefest
summary of what could be said.”
As those words came into my mind, I
was reminded of all the times I had heard gospel teachers call
attention to the challenge the Nephite prophets faced to write as
succinctly as possible, since they were engraving metal plates.
Then, came another thought, another question, and like the boldly
inquisitive child the Lord has taught me He desires and even enjoys me
(and all of us) to be, I asked again, “But, Lord, if the verses I am
reading are only made up of the headlines, how do I get to read the
‘rest of the story’ that goes with each one? I mean, Lord . . .
headlines only serve to whet my appetite or get my attention.”
With a continued sense of His smile (in other words of His good humor
and patience), He conveyed to me, “The ‘rest of the story’ will be
opened to you in the light of my
apply the principles in the 'headlines' unto your own life.”
And so it is that I began to study the Book of Mormon to find the
“headlines” or “sub-titles” that the Lord could use to help explain
and guide me through my own ongoing recovery (repentance and
redemption) process. For example, one day when I was struggling with
my feelings of self-pity and self-will about my non-gospel standards
childhood, He used the single phrases of the first verse of the Book
of Mormon, 1 Nephi 1:1, to invite me to see the truth that would set
me free from my negative thinking.
First Nephi 1:1 Contains the Formula for an Honest Life
I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught
somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many
afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly
favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge
of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of
my proceedings in my days.
“I, Nephi . . .” As I read just these first two words of this verse, I
was reminded that the first requirement for recovery is to be willing
to speak from your own heart, from what in English usage is called the
“first person, singular” voice or perspective. It is to be willing
to think about and talk about your own experiences, your own life,
your own sadness, pain, loss, fear, resentment, as well as your own
hopes, dreams, desires, loves, enjoyments. In recovery, you begin to
come to yourself–like the lost son did in the parable of the prodigal
(Luke 15: 17), you begin to realize that the story of what happened in
different seasons of your life and what your journey has been like is
important, even sacred, and needs to be heard–especially by you. Your
recovery will never start if you focus instead on trying to sort out
and fix other people’s thoughts and feelings.
“Having been born of goodly parents.” Before I began to get
rigorously, deeply honest with myself about my childhood and allowed
myself to grieve the deficits and losses I experienced in it, I was
“put off” by Nephi from the second he introduced himself. He kept
sharing, but I quit relating. My mind sort of shut down, my eyes
glazed over, and even as I went on reading Nephi’s words, I kept
thinking, “
easy for him to “be good” like he is. Rich kid with attentive, caring
parents. In other words, though I kept reading, I wasn’t hearing a
thing, defensive as I was in my self-pity, self-will, and resentment.
In scriptural language, I had hardened my heart against Nephi.
As I accepted and began to apply the 12
happened to me that awakened me from this trance of resentment. As I,
like the wayward son in the parable of the prodigal, began to “come to
myself,” the truth of the restored gospel was able to finally
penetrate my softening heart. I had heard, for years, the concept,
unique to Mormonism, that we are all children of not only a Heavenly
Father, but a Heavenly Mother as well. I desired it to be true.
I wanted it to be true. In recovery, my belief became a deep, abiding
sense of knowing—knowing that I am a beloved child of Heavenly Parents
who love me and believe in me and are 100% dedicated to making sure I
get home to Them.
"Taught somewhat in all the learning of my father. . ." The witness of
the Lord that came to me as I pondered this phrase was that I, too,
had been taught "somewhat in all the learning of my [Heavenly]
[F]ather" in my pre-mortal childhood.
I felt the witness of the Truth to my mind and heart that as I
continue to submit myself to a heart-deep repentance process, my
“conscious contact” with God will continue to increase and I will
continue to be blessed with greater personal revelation about my place
and purpose in my Heavenly Father’s plan.
“Having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless,
having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days.” At first I
thought, now here is a concept I relate to: “ . . . having seen many
afflictions in the course of my days”! That certainly described my
life.
But wait. What did Nephi mean by immediately adding that he was also
“highly favored of the Lord in all [his] days . . .”? Wasn’t that a
complete contradiction of what he had just declared about “having seen
many afflictions in the course of [his] days”? How could he possibly
experience a lifetime filled with afflictions and still declare
himself to be “highly favored of the Lord?”
I had to go through a thorough “inventory process,” (
honestly exploring both the good and not so good things in my life to
understand how it is that Nephi could say these two paradoxical
statements in one sentence. That is the way mortality is set
up--filled with opposition and opposites. (
taken me a long time to reconcile myself to the wisdom of that
reality. I would prefer things to be perfect A
and applying the principles of the gospel that correlate with the 12
amazing blend or “compound in one” of both affliction and favor. Our
Heavenly Father knows exactly what He’s doing to allow it to be that
way.
“Having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of
God.” As I paused over these words and pondered them, the thought
came to me to notice the order in which Nephi speaks of his “great
knowledge” of God. "Order?" I thought. Then I saw it. Nephi places
knowing the goodness of God ahead of knowing the mysteries.
I saw that these few words describe the order in which a person comes
to know God. Once I trust in the goodness of God, then He can begin to
share with me the otherwise mysterious truth that all things—even the
hardest things—are for my good. Even my greatest afflictions can be
turned to my gain as I trust Him in all things and turn to Him no
matter what.
“Therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.” In these
words I was blessed with yet another witness of the power in record
keeping, of making a personal record of my days. Keeping a journal or
notebook close at hand is a form of portable accountability that helps
me be conscious and honest about my “doings” throughout the day, as
well as about the thoughts (motives, desires) that lead up to my
actions. Keeping a personal record is a way of making what’s going on
inside my mind and heart explicit–getting it out there where I can see
what I think and feel. It helps me to live a life that is honest, a
life without pretense or pretending, a life with no hiding anything
from myself or others. It is interesting to see that this is what it
means to be accountable before God–to (as we say on earth) “go over
the books.” Keeping a journal that is genuinely honest–covering both
the good and the not-so-good experiences of life (and sides of your
own personality) is like writing down the sum total of experience–not
just the good or just the worst of it. A “compound” record, an honest
record.
Pondering: Taking Time to
Okay, okay. I know. Getting half-a-dozen personal insights
(applications, likening) out of just one verse of scripture seems a
little "over the top," but then that's how I find God to be--over the
top! I used to think that reading the scriptures (or even having
anything to do with spiritual thoughts, spoken or written) was just
one more thing to DO and check off my
"I'm-trying-
But, then, my weaknesses and the weaknesses of others broke me in two.
No, better put, mortality shattered me into pieces--a million pieces.
Putting my life, my sanity even, back together would have been like
trying to reconstruct a mirror broken into a thousand shards. That's
when I either had to find God on a gut-deep, heart-deep,
walking-talking-counseling, personal revelation basis, or I was going
to spin right off the planet, maybe even right out of the Church.
Everyone and everything I had believed in and participated in as part
of the outward structure and appearances of the Mormon way of life had
not been able to keep the holocaust addiction made of my life from
happening.
That was when I stopped speed reading the Book of Mormon just to check
it off a list. That's when I finally heard the Prophet Joseph
than any other book in the world. Any other book. That's when I
began slowing down and pondering, peering into the depths of each
verse, like you would sit and stare into a pool of water and begin to
see what lies under the surface. I began to sit still and wait upon
the "words of Christ" to open the verses up to my mind. And under the
tutelage of His
Book of Mormon in this depth and see the principles of the gospel and
the 12 steps simultaneously applied to my life. As I have, my
experience has become a second witness to the words of Elder Boyd K.
Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles testified in General
Conference (April 2005): “The Book of Mormon is an endless treasure of
wisdom and inspiration, of counsel and correction, ‘adapted to the
capacity of the weak and the weakest [among us]’ (D&C 89:3). (Emphasis
added.)
The Prophet Joseph
Mormon [is] the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of
our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its
precepts, than by any other book” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph
1977], p. 194, emphasis added).
I pray continually that any member of this Church who has a trial or
affliction that seems insurmountable (whether it be an addiction or
some other trial) will recognize that getting “closer to God” is the
only solution and that no other book ever written will do that for
them more powerfully than the Book of Mormon. In the Name of Jesus
Christ, Amen.
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